About Other Things

I think I was going to write about something... but I can't quite get a handle on it. Instead, I am preoccupied again with my technology conundrum, with my workshop that is happening next week (and the pre-reading reading I am supposed to be holding?), and especially with politics. This is an extremely new condition for me.

Yesterday, I turned to CSPAN on purpose. Granted, I didn't actually know what number to go to (whereas I've memorized Bravo, TNT, USA, FX, The Food Network, Comedy Central and Fox Family... I know that's weird, but sometimes they have fun movies on the weekends). But fortunately, all channels now have little identifiers in the bottom of the screen, so it didn't take too long.

I wanted to watch Obama talk about education. I didn't understand why there was going to be such a fuss. He was telling kids to stay in school, to do their homework. What's all the hubbub? Seems pretty innocuous and straightforward to me.

Really, what's bothering me is that my cousin (she's a second cousin, really, and is about 15 years older than I am) had a Facebook message about it being inappropriate for schools, which then led to several comments from her friends about Obama that ranged from just negative to downright racist. Racist and hateful, and joyfully so.

I voted for Obama, I support Obama, and I support his policies. However, I don't think he's our savior, as some in my "liberal peer group" appear to believe. He's just a politician. Fortunately, a very bright man, but a politician nonetheless. And in this country, politicians don't really have a lot of options. They can only do so much. I feel like he's catching hell for not having actually been the "chosen one" and for not changing the world, and that the condemnation is coming from both sides. We're such a bi-polar, contentious society... people used to hate Bush, and now people hate Obama. This shouldn't be new or surprising.

Yeah, I didn't like George Bush. But that's because I thought he made really bad choices, like engaging in torture, interfering with women's reproductive rights, and starting a war on false pretenses. Also, he was sort of a dummy. Still, I always maintained that he'd be fun at a party, and in innocuous areas of public policy, he seemed quite amiable. And I remember that members of my "liberal peer group" did compare him to Hitler, which also is unjustified, but seemed vaguely more fitting because his policies killed people.

But this hatred... like the comments from my cousin's friends... this has nothing to do with the man's behavior or with his policies. They hate him because he's educated, well-spoken, successful and Black. Over the weekend, someone joked about an "Impeach Obama" rally. What in the hell for? He hasn't been in office long enough to have done much of anything, let alone something worthy of impeachment. It makes me feel sick and scared.

I wanted to un-friend my cousin. But that doesn't seem fair... she's simply expressing her opinion, and I don't feel like her comments were the inappropriate ones. Maybe I will limit her updates from showing up in my Friend Feed. I can't hide from people I don't agree with, and maybe what's really surprising is that these seem to be the first people I've encountered who think so differently from me! That definitely doesn't sound ok... we're supposed to be a diverse nation.

Perhaps I'm taking it personally, but those racist comments made me want to cry. As if I were being personally attacked. And I couldn't hit back, because they weren't making a statement that could even be debated or reversed. Their comments were personal, from something in them that causes those negative beliefs. It reflected as much about them as my reaction does about me.

I shouldn't let this bother me, but I just really, really want healthcare reform. I've given up my dream of actual universal healthcare. I will settle for not being dropped for a pre-existing condition, for not having my rates go up every quarter, or for a plan that gives a crap that I'm a woman.